Choices

This week I had two conversations with parents who have different, but similar, situations regarding what commitments their daughter should make to the sport.

NOTE: My goal as a father was NOT to secure a scholarship, but to have as many college choices as possible.

I’ve said this in previous blogs; If your daughter is athletic or shows a talent for hockey – if she is serious – at some point she is going to have to make a decision to concentrate on this one sport. This is one of the sad facts of our sports culture… we make our kids “professionals” so they may achieve their goal of being recruited onto a college team.

BUT, it’s not about being recruited onto any college team. It’s about having choices to many colleges. So that your daughter will end up going to a school that is a perfect fit for her.

We had an athletic, talented, girl on our high school team who had been competing as an ice skater since an early age. Not only had she developed a social peer group there – but I’m sure with all the investment in money and hard work – she had aspirations of Olympic Gold.

Whenever anyone mentioned to her mom about focusing more on hockey – they were rebuffed. In the end she did get recruited and is playing college ball. But she had very limited choices of where she could go. Maybe only this one school choice. She may be in the perfect school for her. But I’m sorry to say, that I believe she could have done much better.

And that is my point. You want your choices to be many.

With many choices you have a better chance of gaining opportunities that never would have been available to you. The right institution can make a bad college experience great. The right institution can give you an advantage and set the stage for your future.

Limit your choice and you limit the possibilities.

Getting back to the two parents from this week…
Story 1) They have three daughters – two are twins. Now can you imagine the cost of keeping these kids involved in top athletic programs? The parents just found out that Futures conflicts with their SAT course. What to do?

Here’s my view: Academics edges out field hockey – just by a little. But the two really need to work together – in synergy.

My solution for my own family was to get a private SAT tutor that worked on our schedule and didn’t conflict with hockey or school. Did this cost more than a class – maybe – but I don’t think that much more. Do we, as field hockey families, spend more on our sport than say ice hockey families – I doubt it. But I digress, because it’s not about comparing one sport to another – it is about the return on your investment.

If you limit your exposure to FH training or your focus on academics you trade one for the other – and in the end will have fewer choices when it comes time for college acceptance. You need both, and you need to be strong in both. Try not to sacrifice one for the other.

Story 2) They have two daughters. The older daughter was recruited to play Lacrosse at an Ivy. The family knows Lacrosse – but is unfamiliar with hockey. The second daughter plays both sports as a sophomore in high school. It started out easy – a fall sport vs spring sport – but as she progressed through high school the demands from both sports, and the resulting conflicts from both sports is now affecting her ability to reach her true potential at any one of these sports.

She has been told that she is very good at hockey. From what I’m told the player is on the fence as to which sport she likes best. But the dad senses that he is doing more harm than good trying to have his cake and eat it too. A two sport athlete who could excel at either sport.

His problem? He has a base line talent measurement for Lacrosse. Knows what the oldest accomplished and can measure that by the talent his younger has – and he says she is better. But he can’t measure her talent for FH and must trust what others say. Basically he is saying I know she can go to an Ivy for Lacrosse. So they don’t do anything except keep doing what they’ve been doing – playing dual sports – choosing this camp over that – this tournament for that one, etc. — thus diluting the each experience.

Here’s my view: Two sports is OK if you know that a DIII is where you want to go. But if you don’t want that – or don’t know at this time what you want – then you again limit your choices by concentrating on two sports. My opinion is that you have to choose by the very latest the spring of sophomore year in high school. But How? This is a tough one. First it starts with the player. What would she choose if she had to choose right now? If she’s really 50/50 then they need more information – and need to get someone good who they can trust to evaluate her talent and potential.

No one said this was easy.